The truth about "Morning Sickness" - Take 1, Baby 1

Of all the pregnancy related "discomforts" nothing quite gets my goat as much as the nausea euphemistically titled "morning sickness". pfffthh. I remember my first doctor's appointment when I was 44 days pregnant and I happily told the doctor I don't feel pregnant at all when she asked me if I had any fatigue, nausea etc and she called me lucky. If she had told me that all those would kick in after a few weeks, it would've been kinder.

A few days later I gagged while brushing my teeth in the morning and announced to my husband that my "morning sickness" had started. But I still cooked and ate all regular stuff. And then one morning I gagged and puked and had severe loose motion as well. I drank some water and puked non stop again. By now I was puking just bile since I hadn't ingested anything since dinner the previous night. I almost collapsed on the bathroom floor. I called in sick at work. Next day was again the same.  As I was googling on dealing morning sickness tips, I read that it was hereditary. I called up my Mom to blame her for her genes as well as not warning me about how bad it was and she tells me "It took you 2 years to even think of starting a family when you thought it was a rosy deal. If you knew how bad it was gonna get, God knows how long you would've waited." I was too worn out to ask her what were the other scary stuff that she omitted to tell me.

I tried lemon tea, biscuits, crackers etc but nothing worked. On my third day spent on the bathroom floor, my in-laws who live in the same city came over in the evening with home cooked food and an ultimatum - if I didnt eat the khichadi in front of them, they were getting me admitted to hospital with an IV drip. My fear of needles was apparently greater than my nausea and I managed to eat something.

I resumed work after the weekend and all my colleagues were very concerned with how pale and worn out I was looking. After some time one of them came and asked me if I was pregnant? I replied back amused how no one in all girls team with 3 mommies came to the most obvious conclusion for the diarrhea and nausea :) That day at work I puked 17 times in 2 hours. By then I was so drained that my colleagues put me in a cab for fear I wouldn't be able to walk the 750 mts to my apartment.

After this my in-laws insisted that I stay with them. Now this is the weirdest part of the pregnancy nausea that plagues our family - We can eat outside our own homes, but we just cannot eat at home. And we are all good cooks. So even ordering in doesn't work. But I could go eat food outside no matter how dingy and dirty those places were. Admittedly I didn't eat much at my in-laws home either. But atleast I ate 3 meals of which 2 meals comprised of just rice, curd and pickle and maybe some vegetable.

Oh and I kept losing weight. Upto my 5th month, most people didn't know I was pregnant and used to keep asking me to share my tips for losing weight.  I have never eaten so healthy ever in my life. I ate a lot of fresh fruits and vegetables. I couldn't drink my beloved tea or coffee. I didn't have sweets or snacks except for the occasional icecream and dark chocolate. My nausea never really left me till my delivery. I have puked alongside most roads in Pune since any smell could set me off. Heck I even puked alongside roads in US!!! In my entire 9 months of pregnancy I gained just 2 kgs. But since I was overweight my gynec wasn't worried.

My colleagues and my co sister still say that they have never seen anyone whose nausea was as bad as mine. Since my mom was against medication, I didn't take the anti-nausea tablets at first. But later on my mommy colleagues advised that they had all taken the tablets and had healthy babies and my not eating was likely to cause more damage. The tablets prevented my puking to an extent but never cured my nausea.

Lets start from the very beginning, A very good place to start..

As you can see from the title, I am having a Sound of Music hangover. I sat and downloaded all the tracks and kept playing them on loop :) Luxuries of joblessness. A week earlier it was Adele. My!! What a powerful, goosebump inducing voice!! But I digress. Staying true to the title this post is about how I conceived and how I confirmed my pregnancy.

I have been immensely blessed regarding the getting pregnant part. I didn't have to face either the monthly downer of not getting pregnant or the panic of an unwanted pregnancy. Thanks to my very fertile eggs(as claimed by my Mom) or my husband's very effective sperm (as claimed by him), with both my babies I got pregnant at the first try, much to my husband's disappointment who had hoped to have fun trying atleast the second time around :P Let alone the day, I can quote the time they were conceived assuming the eggs and sperm weren't whiling away their time at the sidelines.

My husband and I had an arranged marriage and before marriage itself we had agreed upon having 2 kids, 2 years after marriage. Between hearing stories of couples trying for ages to get pregnant and my grandfather and aunt nudging me for a baby in addition to baby Jesus by Christmas, we thought of trying from January 2012 in order to have a baby by December 2012.

Between our hectic work schedules, late nights, my Saturday working and my husband's frequent business trips, we finally managed to try only on 26 January 2012 which was a national holiday which by a happy co-incidence was my super fertile day. However after that there was such a flurry of activity at work that we didn't have time to try again. Few weeks later my husband won the coveted President's Club award which included all inclusive trip to Florida for a week long stay at the luxurious Breakers Spa in the 2nd week of April.

So the baby making was put on hold till our return from Florida. After all who wants the hassle of a pregnancy at Florida? Sigh!! With my nausea, spotting and fatigue alongwith jet lag, my US trip wasn't the way I had envisioned it :( So we continued with our regular travels - road trip to Nashik for the Sula Fest on 4th & 5th February, my sudden solo trip to Bangalore thanks to a hartaal in Pune and hubby's absence from home due to a business trip. And both these trips I consumed a lot of alcohol and inhaled a lot of passive smoke. I was due to get my periods during the Bangalore trip and was so thankful to God that it was delayed. In fact I joked with my girl friends that I better not be pregnant considering my alcohol and passive smoke intake.

I still can't believe that I didn't even for a moment seriously think I was pregnant when my periods were delayed. With my manager on leave, I was so overworked and stressed out that I felt only gratitude that the inconvenience called menstruation was delayed. And whoever gets pregnant at the first go? Isn't that what Murphy's law is all about? As another experienced Mommy wrote "Getting pregnant is the easiest thing in the world, unless you are trying to get pregnant".

I would have probably continued with my blissful ignorance had I not decided to surprise my husband with meat burgers from Burger King for an impromptu lunch date before Lent started the next day. While casually commenting to my husband how my periods have forgotten me and how it's been such a relief, I went to my kitchen calendar and started counting the days since my last period. And I reached 40!!!! I called up my Mom to double check if 40 days is long enough to be pregnant and she asked me if I had ever learnt Biology in school :P

Now we were too busy for a hospital visit and my husband was leaving for a business trip the next day so my Mom suggested I buy a pregnancy kit and check. I went to the Medical shop thinking how the kit must be very expensive and hoping the guy would accept card since I had no cash on me and he tells me its just Rs. 50. I was so taken aback that it was so cheap that I bought two. With my obsession about following instructions, I waited till the next day morning to check and lo and behold 2 dark red lines confirming without a doubt that I was pregnant!!! 

Nuchal Translucency Scan

Most would-be mothers take 5-6 ultrasounds during their pregnancy. By the end of my first trimester during my first pregnancy, I had gone through 19 ultrasounds, of which 11 happened during a single day - 10 April 2012.

Since it was our first ultrasound at Jehangir, we reached the hospital at 9.25 am for a 9:30 am NT Scan appointment and was asked to wait for 15 minutes. Knowing what I know now, I can safely say that we shouldn't have reached a minute before 10:30 am.

An NTS or Nuchal Translucency Scan alongwith the blood test is called the Combined Test and is a screening test for assessing the foetus' risk for Down's syndrome and as per our gynec, this was a standard test all expectant mothers went through.

I utilized my waiting time drinking water since a full bladder supposedly gives a good view during the scan. After 20 minutes, we check again and was told to wait for 20 more minutes. In the meanwhile we got to know that at 9:30 am I had the last appointment and the woman slotted for 8:30 am was still awaiting her turn. My husband and I didn't even carry our laptops or any sort of reading material since we expected to be back at work by 12:00 noon after an early lunch which seemed like wishful thinking so we informed our respective managers' that we would reach post lunch. Neither of us owned smartphones in 2012, so we just got more frustrated with every passing minute with nothing to do.

After a long wait I got called at 11:00 am and the receptionist asks me for my forms. I look at her blankly till she hands me the consent forms for the ultrasound. By now I am furious. I was waiting in front of that woman for 1.5 hrs and inquiring at regular intervals, when my scan would take place and she didn't think of mentioning the consent form even once!!! So since the form is not ready, another patient goes in for her scan while I am left waiting outside.

I finally go in for my scan at 11:45 am, 2 hrs and 15 minutes after my pre-scheduled appointment by which time my bladder is about to burst. The doctor starts the scan and asks me to empty my bladder as it is "too full". "Too full??" I ask her incredulously because I honestly was too furious to react and she blithely says "Aren't you feeling the pressure on your bladder?". My husband sagely advises me not to completely empty my bladder as though it is even possible let alone for a pregnant woman with urine incontinence. So then I had to use the hospital toilet (yuck). Thank God for the truckload of tissue papers I carried in my mountain of a handbag. I have a deep rooted aversion to using public toilets. I have gone through 30 hour train journeys without urinating just to avoid using the loo in the train.

I again drink some water and go in for my scan and the doctor says my bladder is too empty. By now it is 1 pm and lunch break for the doctors.  They come back by 1:30 and tell me that the baby is not in the right position and I would need to eat something to get the baby to move.  We go to the hospital canteen and have a sandwich and come back. The doctor scans me again and tells me a sandwich is not enough energy to get the baby to move; I need to have something sweet. I go to the canteen and eat a chocolate pastry all the while praying that my nausea doesn't choose to act up now. By now we have informed our managers that reaching office today does not seem probable.

The doctor scans me again and tells me that though the baby has moved, even the new position is not right. She keeps prodding my lower abdomen, but the baby doesn't budge. She started talking to the baby, asking why he/she was troubling mamma so much who has been patiently waiting for one scan since morning. She even tried prodding the baby by inserting a scanner into my vagina.  Tears came from my eyes, but baby refused to budge. That doctor was the first person to call Eric stubborn and after he was born with every passing day we realize just how right she was :) By now it is time for the doctor to leave, but she feels sorry for us and tells her colleague who has just arrived to get the NT scan done instead of her.

The drama continues. The cycle repeats itself multiple times. The doctor scans, prods the baby, doesn't get the required position, send me out to eat/drink something and come back. I call my colleague to vent out my frustration and she googles and suggests I drink orange juice to get the baby to move. Though the baby used to move, he was never in the elusive "right position". By 6 pm, it is time to shut down the ultrasound centre for the day and the doctor tries one last time.  My husband and I hope with all our hearts, but we were disappointed yet again.  At 6:30 pm, we finally left after spending one whole day fruitlessly at the hospital.

NTS appointments were given only on Tuesdays and Thursdays so I went to the hospital again on 12 April 2012 for my NTS. My husband had a full day training and hence couldn't accompany me. This time though I was prepared. I had my laptop, data card, fully charged phone, newspaper and told my manager that I will definitely be late. The doctors tried scanning me multiple times but to no avail. After 2 full days in the hospital the doctors finally said enough is enough.

Later on I realized, there is a screening for Downs syndrome that is done in the later weeks called the Quadruple Test. The test was fortunately negative. In any case as both my mom and MIL told me, what would I have done even if the test was positive. The test is only an assessment of risk and not capable of accurately assessing whether the baby has Downs syndrome or not. Other than giving me one more thing to worry about, the test would've resulted in nothing. In fact my brother-in-law's wife who has 2 healthy kids now was telling me how when she went for NTS for her first baby, the doctor commented that the risk was high after the scan. Since it was in December before the Christmas shutdown, she had to wait for a torturous 2 weeks to get the results which were ultimately negative. I fail to understand why doctors don't understand the impact a simple comment from them has on an anxious pregnant mother's psyche. In fact when she was pregnant with her second baby she flat out refused to get the NTS done. Her husband didn't understand why she was fussing especially since this expensive test was covered by their comprehensive insurance but I completely agree with her.

Anyway cut to my 2nd pregnancy when the gynec told us to get the NTS done, I told her how I took around 16 scans when I was pregnant with my son and still didn't get the reading so I was not very keen on doing it. She asked me to get it done by Dr. Aparna Kulkarni who is supposedly the best ultrasound doctor in Pune city. Either due to Dr. Kulkarni's skill or the fact that I just had lunch and was drinking Sprite and Minute Maid's orange juice instead of plain water or maybe baby number 2 is not as stubborn as his/her brother we got the "right position" and reading at the second attempt itself :)

Why a blog? And why now?

So I realize that I had actually started this blog way back in June 2012 when I was expecting my first child and wanted to jot down all the very different experiences I had during my pregnancy. I had never felt this helpless and this "not in control" ever before in my life. But hectic work combined with severe nausea apart from the usual pregnancy discomfort prevented me from even publishing the first post. In fact I even forgot that I had started a blog. I remembered planning to and even drafting a post in MS Word but it's only now in February 2016, almost 4 years later that I realized that I already had a blog.

Now that I am in my third month of my second pregnancy, I have decided to chronicle my pregnancy and motherhood, something I wish I had done during the first one. Because no matter how much of reading and googling you do, each pregnancy is unique and there are never enough blogs or forums or websites to explain all that you are going through. And I can say this with complete certainty because just 2 months into my second pregnancy, I realized this one is going to be a whole different ball game.

However this time I can commit to updating this blog regularly. A lot of things have changed since 2012 and I am eternally grateful that it has been for the best.

In 2012 I was overworked and stressed - 6 day workweek, regular late nights and the occasional 2 am Powerpoint finishing touches to meet the never ending deadlines of my very exacting boss. I am really thankful to my ex-boss for pushing me so much as I would've never accomplished all I did were it not for his impossibly high standards for me. That said I was also very relieved that I got a different boss after I returned from my maternity leave. The 2 am deadlines and late nights and stress would've been impossible for me to handle with a baby.

The 9 months of my first pregnancy have been the period in my entire career of 8.5 years with the least number of medical leaves. Not even the standard viral fever. Not a single Work From Home either. I went to my doctor's appointments and ultrasounds with my laptop and data card and answered mails and worked on ppts from hospital waiting rooms. Not something you expect from an HR Professional working at a world famous MNC. Oh yes another myth busted about HR having no work. And I went straight to hospital from my office at 8 pm on a busy Wednesday and normally delivered my son a few hours later. Anyway my very eventful delivery experience is for a later blog post.

Cut to February 2016. I have quit my job and I have been a full time stay at home Mom for the past 7 months. I am also blessed with a wonderful maid who takes care of all the housework and my son as well. I will be dedicating a separate post for Sunita maushi later though because she made her entrance only 5 months after my son was born and I am trying to be chronological.

So now I have this luxury called time and "mind space". ( I know the word doesn't exist but I just haven't been able to find an equivalent. I frequently use this word with a lot of my friends and they all get the meaning even though technically it doesn't exist) Oh and more importantly I got a brand new functioning laptop after many travails. Again a story for a different post, actually a different blog altogether.

I know I am making this stay at home Mom thing sound all rosy because 7 months into it, it still remains one of the best decisions I have taken in my life. Of course it was a very very difficult decision many months back and in a different blog post I shall detail how I made this decision.  In case any of you are on the fence about quitting your job, forgoing your income and staying home with kids and want to get more inputs on how others did it.

So hope this blog interests whoever chances upon it!!